Well now, this is of course my boys are my most favorite subject and I haven't talked about my kids very much on this blog because the blog is meant to build the parents of children for this reason here. I am a 31 year old married mother of 2. I am mixed raced but most would classify me as African-American. Brian and I got married at the ages of 20 and 21. Statistically I beat the odds. Now that isn't saying that I couldn't have easily been a part of those statistics.
According to singlemotherguide.com "about 4 out of 10 children were born to unwed mothers.......Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18- a total of 17.4 million- are being raised without a father and nearly half 45% are below the poverty line..for those living without a father about 21% are in poverty and among children living with both parents, only 13% are counted as poor..of single mothers about 49% never married and 51% widowed or divorced..." (Statistics of single parent families 2014)
I have to say that I am very proud not to be a part of these statistics but often times when a woman my age in my situation may come off as bragging but I assure you it is not. For these reasons I do not touch on this subject in my blog but today I want to discuss this a little bit.
Now lets look at employment the median income for single mothers is $26,000 while for married couples is $84,000. now out of 10 million low-income working families with children 39% were headed by single working mothers (4.1 million) and its higher for blacks at 65% compared to whites at 36% average income about $430 a month. Which means that single mothers are more likely to be in poverty, which of course I'm sure many of us know this, more than HALF live in extreme poverty living on only $200 weekly budget! Which is insane!
I know that I am married and I have been for ten years now and we have been up and down. When we first got married we lived in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment in subsidized housing and our oldest son slept in a walk in closet in a crib. our income was low and so our bills were low but we definitely knew that we did not want to stay there forever, even though if we wanted to we could have lived there as long as we were making the same income.
But we were determined to pull ourselves out of that so we had to fight and we had to fall a few times after we left that safety net. We were fearless about a lot of choices but we were determined. Within a year we lost everything due to a car accident and had already rebuilt a bigger and better life for ourselves in a new city only to lose that again because Brian had an accident at work. Then we moved again and lived with family to rebuild again from nothing and succeeded! We lived the best we ever had for another 4 years until Brian had a brain aneurysm and we lost everything again. This time hurt the most because by now we had much more to lose. And we ended up lower than ever without either of us working because I was pregnant because we were planning to have another baby, and Brian was not in a condition to do any type of labor job, which was what he did.
Things seemed to be the lowest ever until we were able to get new jobs after a year without being able to physically work and then we rebuilt brick by brick and again we are thankful for each and every blessing and we stayed together even though things got hard and it seemed that there was no light at the end of the tunnel, we made it and I am happy for that. NOW, with my business I make more in one month than statistically a single mother does and I would have been afraid that I could never ever care for my family if anything were to happen to Brian and soon I will be able to work from home with him full time and be able to LIVE and really and truly live and not in poverty! I hope this doesn't seem as if I am bragging because I am not, but I am PROUD and I think I have every right to be to go from homeless to living ABOVE the poverty line and not needing help and being able to now help and pour into others as a result of the struggles we had to go through?!? I can't tell you how BLESSED we are and that is ALL it is, because I could have EASILY been in any other category and I didn't so I thank GOD for ordering my steps! I am strong so I show my kids each day you can be strong and bounce back better than ever!!! No more depression, no more PTSD, no more poverty! HALLELUJAH!
It takes ALOT to be strong each and every day and people often ask me how i stay positive and how i stay motivated and how I made it through when Brian was in ICU and Rehab and everything.... I can only say GOD, that is it, I thought for sure it would break me and I have always seen myself as weak but I am not, and that fire will never ever be put out again! If your fire is out, think about what you are teaching your kids, if your actions don't show to them strength then pray for it and pray that God helps you to be strong for THEM because we want them to live better lives after all...don't we?
Dawn aka Javi is a Super Cool 32 year old wife and homeschooling mother to 2 young boys and now one new baby girl!!